Last night Zee and I were talking about schedules, who would be home when and such, she asked, "you know that you can take a shower without another adult at home?" (first mistake). I do know this and I will leave the boys to take a shower, but I try really hard to avoid it. I worry about what they will get into, the mess that will be waiting or that my shower time will be invaded by two little boys (the most common result).Fast forward to this morning. The boys had eaten breakfast and went downstairs to play. Zee has some time off and is home today, so we went upstairs to work on various cleaning projects. We were getting a lot done and commenting on how well the boys were playing (second mistake). Then the crying started. And escalated into screaming. Bug comes up the stairs with his hands over his face, screaming that "there's something seriously wrong" kind of scream. Within the next 90 minutes, I had:
- been on the phone with poison control 3 times
- spent 20 minutes with Zee and Bug in the bathroom, giving Bug an eye wash
- found empty bottles of Dawn, Windex and Clorox Green Works in the playroom
- tried hard not to lose it with Little Man
- cleaned copious amounts of soap out of the plastic train table with the hose
- tried again not to lose it with Little Man as he disobeyed me, following me outside through the opposite side of the house and then peeing on a tree
- washed off all of the toys which were covered in dish soap
- tried to clean the soap out of the carpet (unsuccessfully)
Now I'm exhausted. This took all of the energy I had, physically, mentally, emotionally. And in the end Little Man didn't even get appropriately disciplined. There were so many things to deal with and I was so angry that I didn't feel like I could do anything without losing control. The toys that they "washed" are being put in time out. But by the time, I could deal with that part of it, the association between the action and the punishment was gone.
So how do you handle these issues? When you have to deal with the consequences of the action before you can discipline? How do you get them to understand (at 4) the seriousness of what they have done? Is there a Bearenstain Bears book for this one?
I'm at a loss.
8 comments:
You did exactly the right thing - took away the toys that they "washed". That is about all you can do at this age. And all I can say to you is - hang in there. When Little Man is 5/6/7 it will get easier!
something that my sister does it makes my nephew (who is 3) either sit on a chair the whole time she spends cleaning up the mess - which is painful for wiggly hyperactive little boy, or makes him help clean it up (of course dependant on the type of mess). both are equally painful.
but i agree, taking away the 'washed' toys was a good idea. and kudos to you for keeping calm. so many people would have lost it and done things they would have regretted afterwards....
boys boys boys.. sigh!
I agree with your pals. I make them sit and watch me clean it up, all the while I lecture them. What I've done in the past is give them a list of clean up chores to "pay mommy back" for her having to clean up my mess. I think in this case him being able to wash toys off with a hose would have been fun. It can't be fun. I agree it's hard to come up with this the moment it happens.
This is why Josh will judge the day on my response to his question, "Were you able to get a shower in today?" I'm sick and tired of cleaning one floor, only to come downstairs to see the other one destroyed. It takes all the motivation out of cleaning. I will tell you that Jane seems to be outgrowing it, so I think (hope, pray) that it's a 4-yr-old phase. (please, please)
Punishment-wise I think that's about all you can do. I'm sure when his brother was crying he was likely freaking out as well?
This would be a great family home evening lesson on the dangers of getting into things and the possible consequences. Have them close their eyes like they are blind. Ask what they would miss seeing. Talk about being good stewards to our bodies and our homes, etc etc
And quite frankly, I think you're saint for NOT losing it!!
I would love to say that I didn't loose it. Unfortunately, I did. It got ugly and then I realized I was running a fever. Thankfully Wil got home and sent me to bed.
Maybe the natural consequences were enough? Let me know when you figure it all out! :)
Oh my goodness!!! I had a similar incident around the same time you did, and the bad thing is, it had happened a month before.. and I guess I didn't learn from that, so it happened again. :( I feel like I need to take a college course on how to handle 2 year olds b/c my 2 year old KNOWS what she's doing wrong, and will do it anyway. WHY???? She gets my attention ALL the time. that shouldn't be the problem. WoW - the way kids act sometimes just can't be explained!
Glad you remained calm!! You go!
Sarah shot herself in the eye with carpet cleaner during her second b-day party. We did the whole eye wash and poison control. I totally feel your pain!
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