I had to fire a vendor yesterday. It was awkward and made me want to throw up. You see, I avoid confrontation as much as possible. I really don't like having to "discipline" an adult (although I have no problem telling my children "no"). As a reward for being courageous and not crying in the midst of the meeting, I bought myself a birch beer... then I had a lot of  some chocolate.

Wil says I need to not be so hard on myself, that it's understandable with the stress of work, sick babies and being far from home, I'm going to need some chocolate. The problem is, I feel out of control. I can't walk past the dang candy dish in the office without something finding it's way into my hand. And let's not even talk about the cookie jar at my parent's house. When one part of my life feels that out of control, so does everything else. I have a hard time focusing and decision making is near impossible.

Which brings me to the big question... how in the world do I get it back under some sort of "control"? Recognizing of course, that I can't "control" everything. There is always the element of faith in the mix... maybe "find the balance" is a better way of putting it.

In the midst of the chaos, how do I find the balance?