I have been working incredibly hard the last month to organize a successful fundraiser for Calvert Hospice. It's been stressful on the whole family and I've had my moments when I've wondered if it was truly worth it.
Friday was the big day and as with any big event, things went wrong and I didn't think we would get it all done. But thanks to my family and wonderful Hospice volunteers, it all came together. The Hall was beautifully decorated, the food was amazing, the silent auction went well and I got great feedback from my boss and from those attending. Of course, there was room for improvement (the perfectionist in me always finds something) but I was really happy with how things went.
Until yesterday....
A older gentleman came into the office yesterday. He seemed very nice when I first sat down to talk to him about his "concerns about the Gala". Then he just got mean. Once he started there was no way to stop it. I sat there quietly, trying to smile as he single handedly torn apart small details of the event which, in his mind, were less than acceptable. It felt as if it would never end, but eventually it did and I was able to escape to my office before the tears came. In a matter of minutes, the day went from feelings of happy relief to feeling as if I had failed. All of the little things that I knew weren't perfect, were now confirmed. All of my mistakes and certainties were pointed out in detail. I was wrong and I had failed. Now, I realize that some of this came from days (weeks) of sleep deprivation, 12 hour days and still trying to be a good mommy. But I spent the rest of the day nursing those wounds, trying to figure out what I should have done differently and wondering what brings us to be so mean to others.
I know there are times when registering a complaint is necessary. I wonder though how often we take it too far, straying from constructive criticism to just being mean. Do we truly understand the circumstances? Is it really going to improve the situation? When did it become ok to be so mean under the guise of being "concerned"?
I hope that next time I'm in a situation where I might feel "concerned" or think that someone just HAS to know every detail of what might be wrong, I can remember.... "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all". Maybe it will keep someone's day from being as yucky as mine was yesterday.
4 comments:
Mean people suck.
This makes my blood boil. Grrrrr, don't mess with Train, who will always be the QUEEN of events in my book. To give him the benefit of the doubt, I'm going to imagine that he recently lost his wife and the loss has left him a grumpy shell-of-a-man who wanted the event to raise millions of dollars for the cause...Shoot, its not working! Did you treat yourself to something yummy?
Wow I hate when someone confirms my own failures. I am so hard on myself that if it comes from someone else it is twice as ugly! I am so sorry that you had to live through that day.
I hope you are able to have a newer perspective now. I love you and admire you greatly.
I agree with Mimi. Everyone can always do better with everything. Perhaps the moral of your tale is not to be mean to ourselves. We have to let go of what doesn't get done. Do the best we can. Let those "perfect people" who could do it so "perfectly" think that they could have done better. That takes a lot of humility and grit. I appreciate the lesson especially with Christmas around the corner.
Post a Comment