A Little Snow

We got a little snow this weekend. About 3" so far. We are wondering if there will be church tomorrow. I hope so.

w.

"It's about how you live."

Today is my last day working for Calvert Hospice. Starting tomorrow I will once again be a full-time mom. So many people have asked me how I feel about this change... I don't know that there's a simple answer to this. What I'm feeling right now seems to change depending on who I'm with.

I do know that I'm ready to be done and give my boys my full attention. I know that with all the changes and chaos the last few months, they need that time and attention. I know that sometimes the thought of being with them ALL. THE. TIME. makes me want to beg my boss for my job back. (Of course this is usually in the midst of a full fledged temper tantrum.) I know that there are parts of my job I will miss. Really miss a lot. My amazing co-workers, my fabulous boss, the wonderful volunteers and the work that is done to help people at a difficult stage in their lives. Calvert Hospice has been a part of our lives for almost 5 years, when I first started working here. Since then Wil and I have both worked for hospice in both paid and volunteer positions. They have watched my boys grow up and have been a support to us when we needed it, both personally and professionally.

I know that death and dying are natural parts of life. I'm grateful for the amazing Hospice workers out there who help so many people and their families to manage pain, deal with grief and make this part of our lives just a little bit easier. I'm glad to have been a part of an amazing organization, to see where your donations go, how they touch peoples' lives. It has changed me.

If you are in a position to do so, please check out www.calverthospice.org and make a donation. If not, find your local hospice... attend an event, see what volunteer opportunities are out there - they can use your help in so many ways.

Recent discoveries...

I was helping my mom shop for Zee for Christmas, when I found a link on her blog to Darlybird. (I think she may have been led there by cjane.) I fell in love with the earrings! The great colors, the vintage feel, feminine without being over the top and a great price. I don't feel like I'm being irresponsible or too frivolous when I shop there. Zee found red "Nie Nie" earrings in her stocking. I bought the white ones with a coupon that found it's way to my inbox. And there might just be a pair on their way to my mom for her birthday.

For Little Man's 4th birthday, we had a RED party. I did my best to find everything I could that was red... paper banners made with red scrapbook paper, tissue paper balls, red vines, cherry candy sticks. Of course, we were still on a budget so luckily all those things were really inexpensive to make. So when I was searching Darlybird for those earrings and found these cupcake papers, I couldn't resist. I did 2 dozen cupcakes for his party and still have enough left to make a couple more batches. They are a little smaller than the cupcake liners I usually get, but it made them perfect for the kids.



I've seen these sudzing bars in the store and have always figured they were a waste of money. Then a friend bought a pack for the boys for Christmas. I LOVE THEM!!! Seriously. Love. Them.

The soap is inside an odd fabric cover. When you use it the fabric acts like a washcloth and you get all kinds of lather (which the boys love). It also keeps the soap from getting slippery so little hands (or mommies) can hold it easier. But the best part by far is they claim that it lasts "twice as long as regular soap". In our house it proved that and then some. My boys are notorious for dropping a bar of soap in the bath tub for it to become slimy and gross and melting away into nothing. I don't like having to fish it out of the tub or having to use a bar of soap that's all slimy. Plus they like using them so they will actually wash themselves (of course this means I have to have two on hand at all times). The first two we opened lasted about a month, which for us is great. The boys love baths and will take one at every opportunity. I've even started using them since even though the boys have their own bathroom, somehow they keep ending up in mine. It's a definite two thumbs up.

Growing Pains

I had to take Little Man to the doctor today... a trip I have been agonizing over for far too long. My fears were somewhat validated as I realized how completely spoiled we have been for the last 4 years.

When Little Man was born I knew who I wanted as a pediatrician. Dr. Hawit had been a pediatric specialist when my sister was younger and now has a small practice in the county. He's old, he's cautious and he's thorough. His office is small with only two exams rooms. He has one wonderful nurse that has been working with him for 20 years, she's awesome. There are two other ladies on staff, who are kind and great with the kids. If I left a message on the phone before office hours, I would get a call back within minutes of the office opening, almost always getting an appointment before noon. Well care visits were easy to schedule and there was little to no wait before you saw the doctor. He listened to me and trusted my judgment as a mom. He also watched out for me, noticing when I was catching what the boys already had and calling in a prescription so I wouldn't have to take them out again. When Little Man caught rota-virus while on vacation, he personally called me a couple times a day to check on us.

Then there was today... the doctor we saw was pretty good, I had no complaints there. But this place is HUGE. There were at least 20 people in the waiting room with 15-20 exam rooms just on the peds side. The nurses treated me like I was stupid and the next available appointment for a well care check up is 2 months away. We won't be going back.

But we still have to find a new doctor... even though I would be perfectly willing to drive two hours to see Dr. Hawit. I know our experience has been unique but I also want to believe that there are other doctors out there who will care for my children.

How have you found doctors after moving to a new area?

More to come...

I know we have more pictures somewhere, since I know we took some on Christmas and Little Man's birthday. I will post them as soon as I find them.

Christmas Eve 2009

(because Santa likes orange juice with his cookies)

new pjs

this is the only way we could get him to stand "still" in front of the Christmas tree.

Defrosting my fingers

I can't remember the last time the temps here went as high as freezing and with a bitter cold wind along with it... I'm freezing. All. the. time. And that's my excuse for being lame. It takes me forever to get something started because it means I have to leave a cozy warm place, something akin to torture for me.

I promise to update my blog as soon as my fingers and toes defrost. Unfortunately, that might be months away.

Random thoughts for today

The breakfast of champions this morning was the crumbs of the Puppy Chow Chex Mix, a leftover Rhodes roll, ranch dressing and parmesan cheese. The boys brought all the ingredients upstairs to surprise me. When we got back downstairs for a real breakfast and I was getting frustrated, Little Man said, "I'm sorry Mommy, I wanted it to be happy mother's day."

I gave my notice at work today. I'm trying not to mentally check out and after 2 weeks off, that's REALLY hard. As of January 29th, I will again be a full time stay at home mom.

It's this guy's birthday and I sure do love him.

Happy 35!

Breakfast of Champions

The great thing about Little Man being old enough to get himself something for breakfast is that when he's kept me up most of the night, I don't have to move to find him something to eat.

The bad thing about Little Man being able to get himself something for breakfast is that when I forget that the chocolate covered pretzels that we had as treats for our dinner guests are within his reach, not only will he eat them for breakfast, but he'll also share them with his brother.

Anyone else ready for the holiday treats to disappear?

The year in which I find myself again

I'm not sure what is was about 2009, but there was a large part of the year where I didn't feel like me. Due in part to all the changes going on, I was a mess. The smallest things would stress me out beyond what I could handle. I was often in tears and yelled at my children far more than they deserved. In the last few weeks, even with the holidays, I have been working hard to make things better.

Wil and I spent hours this weekend working on the chaos that had become our bedroom. The kind of mess that makes you cringe as you walk past. It's been horrible wanting that room to be a sanctuary but dreading having to go in there even just to sleep.

On top of all the cleaning, we've been making an effort to be social. On New Year's we invited over a few other families from our ward in the hopes of making some new friends. It was great. I cleaned the house, while Zee got dinner ready. Wil pitched in when he got home from work. After both boys had naps, they were well behaved (I'm pretending the nightmare before naptime didn't happen). We had a great time. The house even stayed relatively clean the rest of the weekend, so much so that we were able to have friends over for dinner after church with little stress.

Tonight, I was walking past my bedroom, I realized that I felt like me again... and I really like it. Our house is finally starting to feel like our home, like my very own space. I don't feel as stretched to my limit... there's breathing room again.

I don't know what 2010 holds for us, but I do know that I'm starting it out in a good place.

Happy New Year!

Much love from our photo booth to yours!