Today is my nephew's birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese. I've been struggling all week with taking Little Man. I want him to be involved with his cousins, to have chances to play with them and have fun. I'm also 37 weeks pregnant and ready to pop. Friday, I took Little Man to his Mommy and Me class and ended up with contractions all afternoon. But Baby J CANNOT come until we've moved up into the apartment, so I knew that there was no way I could risk going. Then Uncle Matt stepped into the picture and offered to take Little Man to the party. They left about an hour ago and I'm still a little worried. I know once they get to the party Leah will make sure all is well, there's just something about sending your 2 year old with your 28 year old single brother that makes a mom worry.
What surprises me even more is how much I miss my Little Man in just the last hour. I'm sure it has something to do with all the crazy hormones. I go back and forth between feeling like I can't handle his energy and not wanting him out of my sight. We both know things are going to change in the next few weeks, but have no idea of what that really means.... and I thought he was the only one struggling with that. I guess not. So today, while I have a "quiet" house, I'm determined to get some laundry done (it's in the basement - yuck), get some things ready for Baby J and a real dinner made. It doesn't sound like a big list, but it sure does feel daunting.
4 comments:
I know exactly how you feel, my friend! When I was pregnant with the Little Lady my MIL took Goose for the day so I could get my haircut. I bawled when she came to pick him up. It was crazy! Don't worry, My Friend! In a few weeks you will have Baby J and wonder how you ever lived your life without him. :) And fortunately the hormones will eventually calm down, too! Big hugs!
Oh, I wish I could make you some dinner or sit and chat while we folded your laundry together. I had some crazy feelings like that, too. I remember my M-I-L taking Boo for the DAY. I had never allowed such a thing EVER. I cried when she left and then I called her right before naptime and kindly DEMANDED she bring my child home. ha. I tried to identify what it was, and for me it was knowing that I was going to need to give attention to someone other than her in a short while, and that somehow made me feel guilty - like I was choosing the new baby over her - my firstborn, my one and only...(sniff, sniff). It sounds crazy, but I guess that's how my mind was operating back then.
Could also be that mama bear instinct kicking in - protecting your children, knowing your giving birth soon, wanting them close by, etc. Look at me, diagnosing like I know what I'm talking about!?
I'm doing much better now that I'm seeing how much is getting done. Is that horrible? I went through two bins of clothes for Baby J and I'm on my third load of laundry. It's amazing what can get done with a good night's sleep and a short break. Also, Matt sent me a picture of Little Man playing with a railroad game - he's having a great time.
Post a Comment